jame_alec: "This is a cat. It is not a defective dog. It is very happy being a cat. Autism: It's a diffence, not a disease" (Cat - Autism)
[personal profile] jame_alec
It seems all I use this thing for is to talk about stimming, but I need to talk about it with someone or I'll go nuts.

I've mentioned my physical stimming before, but I also do mental stimming. I'll go hide somewhere (usually my room or the bathroom) and physically stim while I mentally stim at the same time.

My mental stimming almost always involves gryphons or birds or prey. When it doesn't, it involves foxes. Very rarely it will involve deer or horses. Sometimes it'll be stories about them, but usually it's just scenarios: either hunting or fleeing. When it's not stories, I'm usually imagining gryphon anatomy.

For anyone on my FL that doesn't know, a gryphon is a mythical animal with (traditionally) the fore legs, head, and wings of an eagle, the ears of a wild ass, and the hind legs and tail of a lion. Since such a creature would have such issues walking and flying in real life, a lot of my stimming involves going through different body types for how they're designed.

Are the fore legs like an eagle's? If so, do they spend a lot of time on the ground? If they do, can they hunt on the ground? An eagle can't walk like a lion, are the hind legs still like a lion, or like a second set of eagle claws? If they are, do they perch on branches or live on the ground? If the fore legs aren't like an eagle's, are they more adapted for walking on the ground? Are the ears feathered? If they are, how much of the ear is feather and how much is actual ear? Is it similar to a horned owl's ear tufts? Are they mobile? If they are, how are they used to express emotion? Are they laid against the head during flight? Do they have tail feathers? If they do, do they have a tail? If they don't have tail feathers, how do they stop when they go in to land?

And on and on and on. It was a little hard to transcribe that, because I don't think of it in words. I see the gryphon in my head and stretch and change the body as is necessary to see what it's like for different designs, different scenarios, etc.

I've been doing this since I was about 12. I'm fully aware this is horribly obsessive and most people just aren't interested, either because it's boring or because it's a little frightening. I need to find other autistic people interested in gryphons so that we can just talk at each other, haha.


jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)

March 2010

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