jame_alec: "This is a cat. It is not a defective dog. It is very happy being a cat. Autism: It's a diffence, not a disease" (Cat - Autism)
It's been on my mind a lot lately, so I'm going to kind of dump everything I've found out about me being on the autism spectrum here.

After finding out what stimming is maybe a month ago, I talked to my school shrink. She said I probably had Asperger's. My main concern was that this isn't in my head and I'm not being a hypochondriac, so that was all I was really interested in.

This is all pretty interesting to me because of the anecdotal link between autism spectrum disorders and trans-ness. Most people that are trans seem to have someone that's autistic in the family, or on the spectrum themselves.

When I first found out I was on the spectrum I had a sheer panic attack of "Oh god, what if I'm wrong and me thinking I'm trans is just my reaction to not getting human interaction and my role as a woman?" It didn't take long to shake that off... there are plenty of cissexual women on the autism spectrum who have the same social difficulties I do and have no inclination to chop off their breasts and take testosterone.

I also felt utter relief at having an explanation for why I react in certain ways to things. For 20+ years I'd convinced myself that I was being a whiny jerk for always wanting the TV volume down, for hating any kind of bright light, for being more inclined to stay in my room than go to a friend's house.

For 20+ years I've also had the worst guilt about stimming. I thought it was something that only I did, and it made me a weirdo. Now that I recognize the need to do it (before I thought I was just horribly tired at the end of the day rather than overstimulated) and actually do it when I need to, I feel so much better.

It kind of bothers me that my parents, family, and teachers until 2nd grade (when I learned to suppress my stimming in public) saw my stimming and social problems and thought "odd but intelligent kid" rather than "something's up here". I feel like I spent 20 years in limbo because nobody noticed. Though I suppose given that I'm in rural Georgia, I'm lucky I was pegged as a weird smart kid rather than an autistic kid.

idk. I'm open to questions/comments about the subject. (And no, I don't believe I got this from being vaccinated.)
jame_alec: various beakers, flasks, etc filled with brightly colored liquids (Chemistry!)
I've been called in for jury duty!

First time in the 4 years I've been a registered voter.

I'm supposed to call some number the day before I go in to see if they still need me. If I go in, they give me $35/day.

I'll need to talk to my quantitative analysis teacher, because it would fall on a day that I have lab, which I can't miss or I fail the class. But if I miss jury duty I could kind of go to jail, so.

I doubt it'll be a problem, he's an understanding guy.
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
Oh man, I reeeaaally shouldn't have spent that $25, but I <3 Dreamwidth too much to not get a paid account.

So, hooray Dreamwidth! Please don't start sucking like LJ. That would make me sad.

(no subject)

NSFW May. 2nd, 2009 04:03 pm
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
A mockingbird has been singing outside my window since 10 pm. It is 2:45 am now. Never in my life have I wanted to kill a bird before. Now I do.
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
I have been constantly drugging myself up on allergy meds for the past few days. If I don't die of an allergy attack, I'll consider myself lucky. Walking from the car to class sets me off for well over an hour.
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
I just spent two and a half hours in the basement fearing for my life because of tornadoes.

We had two warnings within an hour of each other. x_x I am soooo ready to be in NYC and not have panic attacks every time it thunders.
jame_alec: Young Magneto from Magneto Testament looking solemn in the snow (Magneto Testament)
The other day I accidentally smacked the tip of my left middle finger against the pan while I was making a grilled cheese, and now it's numb. D: It wasn't a bad burn, and I guess it's better than it hurting, it's just rather disconcerting.

I also got new tires, so now my car isn't so loud that it's impossible to hear people on my cell when I'm driving. (Yes, bad me, I shouldn't be on a cell in the car while driving, I know.)

In my quantitative analysis class we were given homework on the first day. Three chapters of it. I'm glad this is the only class I'm taking this quarter.

If I don't get some sleep tonight, I'm going to kill something. I've been woken up twice during the night for the past two days, and I am horribly tired and ridiculously grumpy for it.
jame_alec: Nami and Usopp from One Piece looking happy and holding hands, with a :D at the bottom left (Nami and Usopp - :D)
Holy shit, I got an A in my PCR class!

I didn't expect to do better than a B... it was a really hard class, and the teacher flat out said only the best papers would get A's.

I am utterly thrilled. :D
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
I should seriously win some kind of award for my bizarre dreams.

I dreamed that I was the son of a god. I had to go on a journey to discover this, though; at the beginning of the dream I only knew that I was on a horribly hard journey. For some reason it involved walking across stones that each lit up a different color and played a different note. When I finished my journey I saw the god that was my father and was too scared to talk to him, so I ended up rewalking the path my journey took me through. It was empty this time, though. Then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep and dreamed [livejournal.com profile] soos and I were going to walk to NY. From Georgia. Wtf?
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
I feel a bit upset. Today when I went to feed my mom's fish (she doesn't take care of them), I found the blue paradise fish on his side. He had been declining in health for a while, and today he could barely eat. I didn't want to see him starve, so I went out and got clove oil (had to go to 3 different stores, Jesus) and follow the humane euthanization instructions on this site.

The clove oil seemed to irritate him for a few seconds, but then he was anesthetized. I added a bit more vodka than I needed to, and after 20 minutes checked for gill movement (there was none). Poor thing. He was a mean old bastard, though. I'm going to see if I can get something nice for the tank this time.
jame_alec: Nami and Usopp from One Piece looking happy and holding hands, with a :D at the bottom left (Nami and Usopp - :D)
Adopt one today!

I never thought I'd get dragged back into the virtual pet thing. They're so cute though, awwwe. It'd be nice if it wasn't "CLICK OR DIE", though.
jame_alec: Luffy from One Piece crying with the text "forgive me when I can't forgive myself" (Luffy - Forgive me)
Well that was all kinds of fun. I just got screamed at and called stupid because I need subtitles to watch movies. I'm not deaf or hard of hearing; I just need them because I have a hard time understanding people unless I've talked to them for a long time. Moreso if they have any kind of accent. So of course this makes me stupid.

I need to get out of here.
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (HHK - Rabu)
Atlanta Pride rejects HRC sponsorship.

Ten kinds of awesome. ilu, Atlanta Pride. I only wish I had money to give you to make up for the $5000 lost. :(
jame_alec: Zoro from One Piece looking sick and about to puke with the text "Cottage cheese doesn't come in a milk carton" (Zoro - Augh)
Augh I am dying of allergies. Someone kill me plz. D:
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (D20 - Oh shit)
Ugh, I had a horrible reaction to that Mucinex. It made my thoughts race and I had a panic attack and cried a lot. I was up until 3 am, and woke up 4 hours later, then yesterday I just came home after school and slept.

It didn't help that we had a stupidly long lab, mostly involving watching water drip. No, really. They don't put on the brochure that a lot of science involves hurrying up and waiting.
jame_alec: Zoro from One Piece looking sick and about to puke with the text "Cottage cheese doesn't come in a milk carton" (Zoro - Augh)
Ugh, today has been such a crap day.

I went to class and got there about a half hour early. No problem, there are computers for us to use in lab. I noticed a weird sulfur + chemicaly smell when I went in, but I figured it was just something the other class had been using and the smell was lingering or something.

By the time everyone else and my teacher got to class, it had given me a headache and was making me feel generally icky. As soon as my teacher came in he asked if everyone smelled that, stalked around for a bit, and found a bunch of concentrated mercaptoethanol just hanging out in the biohazard bag, uncovered. x_x He's horribly allergic to that, so he threw it under a fume hood and we all went back to a different class to lecture and weren't able to do our lab work for the day.

Then I took Mucinex for the first time and it's making me feel icky and ick ick ick. D:

I hope [livejournal.com profile] soos calls soon, I need someone to talk to. :
jame_alec: Spandam from One Piece saying "That's what your mom said! Last night! When we had sexual intercourse!" (Spandam - Your mom)
Today I found out that people researching at the CCRC aren't very amused when we lowly students try to use the building's their centrifuges. :D

We used a centrifuge for 25 minutes, and came back to find a guy looking very impatient and glaring at the centrifuge.

Something about like this happened:

Guy: *glares at us* Is this yours?
Teacher: Yes, that's ours. *starts getting it out of the centrifuge*
Guy: I had it reserved! I need to get out of here by 6!
Teacher: Oh, you needed it?
Guy: Yes.
Teacher: Well, we need to run it for another two hours.
Guy: WHAT?!
Teacher: I'll let you use it if you give me $20.

At that point my classmates and I left because we were laughing too hard. A moment later my teacher came out, miffed, and said "He didn't give me $20."

Best part? There were two other identical centrifuges not in use. But nooo, this guy had to have this centrifuge.

I think research makes people crazy.
jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
Why does today suck so much?

/emo

The World Ends With You is exceedingly good. I need the soundtrack to it liek whoa. But I'm stuck at a part and I can't find a FAQ that covers it, though. That's the only bad part about having new games. >:

I also need to get in touch with Robert to see when the first GSA meeting is. I'm going to beat him if it isn't sometime this week, since he's been putting off getting it together forever and a day.
jame_alec: Zoro from One Piece looking sick and about to puke with the text "Cottage cheese doesn't come in a milk carton" (Zoro - Augh)
So there's a job opening near me looking for people with microbiology experience (check) and chemistry experience (check) to test meat. "Wet and dry tests", whatever that means. I was interested, but was like "muuuh I'm vegetarian, I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be working with this. Morals."

Then I saw that it would pay $18/hour.

MORALS? WHAT ARE MORALS? For $18/hour there is little I wouldn't do. :D

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jame_alec: A young Magneto and Professor X looking at each other. Magneto has a snazzy hat on (Default)
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